No trip to a Championship ground is complete without sampling the culinary offering, and at Swansea City for Wrexham’s visit, what started with the promise of an Oreo waffle ended with quite possibly the worst matchday food I’ve reviewed.
Price & Value
At £7.75 for the “Snoop Dogg”, expectations were reasonably high.
Add a £3.50 bottle of Coke Zero and the total came to £11.25, not exactly pocket change for a bit of half-time grub.
For £7.75, the Snoop Dogg was supposed to come loaded with bacon, onions and bell peppers, ketchup and mayo.
What actually arrived was considerably less impressive: a sausage in a bun.
That was it.
On that basis, value for money was absolutely dreadful.
Thank goodness for the Coke Zero.
Service & First Impressions
Things started going wrong before I’d even ordered.
My first choice was the Oreo waffle, only to be told they didn’t have any available.
Plan B was the Snoop Dogg.
There was just one problem: the server didn’t seem to know what I was talking about, despite it being advertised on the menu and appearing on the till.
After a bit of confusion, we eventually got there.
I was then asked whether I wanted mustard.
I said no, expecting everything else listed on the menu to arrive as advertised.
It didn't.
Taste & Quality
What I was handed was quite literally a sausage in a bun.
No bacon. No onions. No bell peppers. No mayo. No ketchup.
Nothing.
I was told the ketchup would be available at the sauce station.
Lo and behold, there wasn’t any, presumably because the ketchup was supposed to have already been on the Snoop Dogg in the first place.
The result was horrendously dry.
By the time I’d battled my way through it, my mouth was drier than the Sahara Desert.
With none of the advertised toppings or sauces there to rescue it, there was nothing remotely enjoyable about the experience.
For £7.75, it was awful.
Practicality
Technically, it was easy to eat.
Then again, when you remove virtually every ingredient apart from a sausage and a bun, there isn’t much left to spill.
The bigger practical concern was trying to consume something so spectacularly dry without a drink nearby.
Thankfully, the £3.50 Coke Zero came to the rescue and may have prevented me from needing emergency rehydration.
Verdict
This was a disaster from start to finish.
The first-choice Oreo waffle was unavailable, there was confusion when ordering an item clearly displayed on the menu, and the Snoop Dogg eventually served bore almost no resemblance to what was advertised.
Charging £7.75 for what amounted to a dry sausage in a plain bun, missing the bacon, onions, bell peppers, ketchup and mayo it was supposed to include, is incredibly difficult to justify.
I’ve eaten plenty of questionable food following Wrexham around the country, but Swansea have managed to produce a new low.
Rating: 1/10
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The Coke Zero gets the point.
Swansea is by far the worst experience of the season after four away games.
Next up is another trip to London on Friday night as Wrexham take on West Ham United.
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