Emotional stories behind support for Wrexham hospice campaign

This is why every December, Nightingale House Hospice hold their Light Up a Life campaign, giving families and friends the chance to remember their loved ones and helping raise much-needed funds towards patient care and support to local people in our community.

Light up a Life is a special event, when the hospice tree is lit for the first time during the Advent Season, and those glimmers of light offer remembrance and tribute to those who have played such a special part in our lives, an opportunity to remember and celebrate the lives of loved ones in a positive way.

Nightingale House Hospice’s annual Light up a Life service will take place, after a long break, at St Giles Parish Church, Wrexham on Sunday, December 5 at 4.30pm and is open to everyone. It is a non-ticketed event. If you are unable to attend this service, there are five others in and around the community, visit nightingalehouse.co.uk for details.

To dedicate someone who has been precious to you and light up a life for them, dedications can be made online by visiting www.nightingalehouse.co.uk/in-memory/light-up-life or phone 01978 314292. Those you are dedicating to, do not have to have been cared for by the hospice, everyone is welcome and our invitation extends to everyone. There is no minimum donation, just to be as generous as possible, to help make every moment count for patients and families.

Here we share why families take part in the Light up a Life event each year and pay tribute to the some of those remembered on the Hospice Christmas Tree.

• SUE AND BABS

Light Up A Life: Sue and Babs.

Chris and her family have supported Light up a Life every year since Chris’ two sisters, Sue and Babs, passed away at the hospice weeks apart from one another.

Chris said: "We are so lucky to have Nightingale House Hospice on our doorstep providing professional specialist care to our community and surrounding areas.

"Attending the Light up a Life service will be very special for me, as I was unable to attend 2019. That Christmas was far too emotional as we had only recently lost Sue and Babs that year, and I just could not face it.

"Then of course, 2020 was cancelled due to the pandemic, so this year will be the first year we will be there as a family.

"Our family will always support the hospice and Light up a Life, having set up a tribute fund in honour of Sue and Babs.

"Sue made a donation of children’s play equipment for the creche, back in 1995 when the hospice first opened, and we have felt connected to this special place since the beginning, participating in fundraising as much as we could.

"We used to say 'we never know when we will need this place', and sure enough the time came when we did.

"Barbara started to attend as a day case prior to her being admitted as an inpatient in 2018. She used to enjoy the practical activities and conversations with other patients.

"Sue was first admitted in 2018 for pain control until her illness got worse and she too was admitted.

"To have two sisters going through their illness together was unbearable but the fact they were looked after with such care and compassion that gave them dignity and reassurance, knowing they were in safe comforting hands, meant the world to us.

"Also, as a family, we felt reassured, almost as though a comfort blanket had been wrapped around us. One evening I was at the hospice making a cup of tea and two nurses came up to me and asked how I was.

"This was something I hadn’t really thought about as there was no time to think of me.

"I know my family had the same support and this is the difference, as they are also concerned about the families and how they are coping. Following my sisters' passing in April 2019, myself and a few family members have received bereavement support from a wonderful team of experts, no end date - they are there for us when needed.

"And so our lovely Nightingale House family are truly worth supporting and Light up a Life will be a very special event.”

• CAMILLA CHURTON

Camilla Churton.

"In 2017, Camilla married the love of her life, Angus. It was the happiest of days, and we wished them well for a long and happy life together.

"They travelled back to Australia where they had a growing and successful business in racing, and all was good with the world, then in December after a routine health check for insurance, Camilla was diagnosed with cancer.

"It was believed she would make a full recovery, after all Camilla was very young, fit and healthy. However, cancer is cruel, and Camilla admitted herself into hospital, on her first wedding anniversary and after tests, they said there was an area that showed cause for concern.

"We were then given the devastating news it was a particularly rare, very fast-growing cancer and was only a matter of time. So, we made the necessary arrangements to bring her home.

"It was soon after that we were introduced to Nightingale House Hospice. Nightingale House was wonderful, as soon as we walked in, it was light, calm, and so very welcoming, it was a bit like being hugged, it is a lovely happy place.

"Camilla used the hydrotherapy pool and had massages, both of which she greatly enjoyed.

"She loved going to the hospice, it made her smile, it truly was a great tonic. As she got weaker, Camilla was lucky enough to stay the night.

"I say lucky because it was so comfortable, with French windows leading onto the garden, gorgeous, Camilla said it was like staying in a 5* star hotel.

"At home, Camilla was cared for by community nurses who were our Angels in Disguise, never in a rush, always time to talk, and able to give Camilla her dignity, allowing us our special time with her. And it was special.

"We lost Camilla a few days later but we were able to carry out her final wishes, to be at home, this had been incredibly important to her, and all of this was possible, thanks to the incredible people at Nightingale House Hospice, their support during and continuing support is amazing and I along with so many others, cannot thank them enough."

• MIKE GORING

Mike Goring, and family.

Mike was diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer on his 68th birthday and passed away 18 months later in January 2020 at Nightingale House Hospice.

Mike’s wife Sandra had been caring for him at home with the help of family, friends, the district nurses and Macmillan nurses until she felt they couldn’t cope anymore.

Sandra said: “The staff at the hospice were absolutely wonderful and took so much pressure off me and the family. At the hospice we were just able to spend quality time with Mike, sharing memories and just being there with him.

"I will never forget the love, kindness and support from the staff and volunteers during this awful time.

"Mike had a long career in social care helping others therefore I want to help nightingale house in his memory through Light up a Life and many other fundraising events that are organised.

"Mike was a wonderful artist and I have so many paintings he has done, so many memories. I was in the process of trying to get prints of some of them to fundraise for the hospice when lockdown happened. I will do it one day soon.”

• JEFF VAUGHAN

Jeff Vaughan.

"In March 2012 my mum and dad got married, it was the same year we bought our happy home together, just five minutes’ walk from Nightingale House Hospice, we never imagined at the time what a huge part of our lives this amazing place would be.

"I was six-years-old when my dad was diagnosed with a brain tumour in 2014, and while everything was a bit of a blur, I do remember happy memories, a family cruise round the Greek islands being one.

"The tumour came back after two lots of surgery and radiotherapy, and it was Easter Sunday 2017 when my dad was admitted late at night to Nightingale House to try and balance his medication, it was meant to be short term, but that was the last time my dad was with us at home.

"My dad spent 13 weeks at the hospice, and whilst it was a sad time watching him get more and more poorly, it was also a time filled with memories made all the more special by the caring and wonderful nursing staff and volunteers at the hospice.

"My memories of this time were my dad decorating a mask for me in the Monday day drop-in centre, coming to see my dad in the afternoon after school and Peter the chef making me my favourite sausage and chips so I could sit and watch TV with dad until my nan would take me home, playing in the gardens inside the hospice, my dad could watch me playing from his room.

"I loved spending time weekly with Sarah where I could talk about my worries, we made a memory box, we loved making sparkly things together, these were all happy times, which made the sad times more bearable.

"My dad passed away on July 12, 2017, my mum was with him to the end and then came home to me. The support we all had from the hospice is something that money cannot buy.

"I went on to continue visiting the support team at the hospice for many months after dad went to heaven, and mum joined one of their bereavement groups which I know helped her a lot, and together the love and care we received from the hospice meant we could slowly start to live our lives in a new way without dad.

"My dad will always be my hero because of the strength he showed through his illness and I know he would be forever grateful to Nightingale House for the care he received and me and my mum still have access to if we should need it.

"Thank you to everyone who donates to support the running of the hospice, your donations are life changing. Love and thanks, Susana and mum Sue x."

• GAYNOR JONES

Gaynor Jones MBE.

"This year, as last, I am dedicating a light to my lovely mum Gaynor Jones, who herself was a huge supporter of Nightingale House.

"We lost mum in July last year, just five weeks after being diagnosed with aggressive stomach cancer and seven months after her 80th birthday, which we all celebrated in style in a local hotel with friends and family.

"Mum was at the very first Light up a Life service many years ago, as I was a fundraiser for the hospice back then and she was incredibly supportive of everything at the hospice and everything I did and always wanted to lend a hand.

"I took her to events here, there and everywhere and we had a great time. In the early days she enjoyed coming into the hospice to arrange flowers.

"From the very first Light up a Life, I have sponsored a light every year for my grandparents (Ivor and May Bevan) and mum looked forward to receiving the card and seeing their names in the book of honour each time.

"Last year it felt surreal to be sponsoring a light for mum herself. She was my best friend and at the heart of everything in my life and it was so hard to believe she had gone.

"My stepdad Hywel has continued to support the hospice and was pleased to donate to Light up a Life last year in mum's memory.

"Light up a Life is a very special way of remembering, honouring or thanking special people. It means a lot to know there will be a light shining for mum and my grandparents.

"It's something I want to do every year and I know how important the money raised is for the running of the hospice.

"Mum died at home but Nightingale House was at the end of the phone when we needed advice and support and the Release bereavement service was invaluable in helping my daughter prepare for losing her beloved grandma.

"There are so many reasons for sponsoring a light and I really hope lots of money is raised for the hospice again this year." Debbie Barton

• NORMAN LAND

Norman Land.

"Dad (Norm), was a larger-than-life character. Professionally he could be serious and sensible, but he always had a great sense of humour and was full of fun.

"He was very gregarious, had lots of interests and was involved in many groups; with whom we happily shared him.

"Dad retired from local government after 34 years, at the age of 50, and thankfully he had a further 20 happy and healthy years enjoying his interests and giving his time to others.

"He filled this time with family, Chapel commitments, photography, gardening, allotment and became chairman of the board at the Nightingale House Hospice; a post he held for 10 years. He always committed himself to these roles with enthusiasm and was known for always wearing his shirt and tie daily - dressing to impress!

"He was an active supporter of the Hospice, taking every opportunity to positively promote it for patients and their families, enabling continued fulfilment of life as well as support for end of life. When fundraising, he truly believed ‘every penny counts’ and sought to secure funding for future developments.

"Dad loved Christmas, in every sense; traditionally with Chapel and the family fun time. We enjoyed Christmas meals out (always with an appropriate Christmas jumper or tie), the Chapel Christmas, the annual panto, the grandchildren’s nativities. He also loved to visit the hospice on a Christmas Eve, to wish the staff a Merry Christmas and deliver some biscuits or chocolates.

"As a family we miss him every day but especially at Christmas time. We support Light up a Life at Christmas as an opportunity to both remember dad and honour the commitment he made in his support of the Hospice. For us dad always lit up the room."

• EZRI HUDIS

Ezri Hudis.

"This year, I am reading the Testimony at Nightingale House Hospice’s Annual Light up a Life Service.

"During lockdown, following the death of my friend Ezri, I wrote down everything I remembered. That compilation became a book entitled The Book of Ezri, Friendship - Illness - Death, A Memory by Alison Chippindale and Dancing Friends.

"The quality of care at the hospice was superb on every level. Kindness, generosity, sensitivity, a complete 'yes' culture. It was extraordinary to be bathed in such an atmosphere.

"Great skill and respect in looking after Ezri, clever with drugs, fast responses, keeping her comfortable, and able to relax and make the most of her last days. Everyone - doctors, nurses, cleaners, chefs, café staff, reception team, gardeners, volunteers - all went the extra mile to support Ezri and us.

"And as the days passed, the staff and volunteers had to create new procedures for coronavirus. As the outside world reacted to the new shock, and the staff’s lives were impacted, in the hospice all remained calm and peaceful for the benefit of the patients. Remarkable.

"And the building, the beauty of the new vivid colours, the lovely quiet room looking out over the garden, full of flowers and signs of spring. The newly redecorated outpatient wing with its bold colours."

• Light up a Life has been kindly sponsored by WB Environmental Ltd, Waste Management and Recycling Consultants, 12 Nicholas Street, Chester, CH1 2NX