THIS time last year I was in a land of limbo and fear.The Christmas shops played out their festive songs, trees were decorated and shoppers were rushing around to buy their gifts.
But I, my partner Adam and my family had only one thing on our minds: cancer.
My health scare began in August 2010 when a routine smear came back to say I had abnormal cells.
In October, I was taken into hospital for a loop biopsy, where these cells were removed.
Weeks went by and not a word from the hospital, so as they say, no news is good news, and I never gave the procedure a second thought.
Then at the end of November I was called back in – I had been back a number of times so didn’t think anything of the appointment.
As I sat with the doctor and the nurse I was told what had been had found: “A cluster of cancer in the cervix.”
I left in a daze. As I walked out of the doors Adam rang me from work. “How did it go? What did they say?” he asked. “They’ve found cancer,” I blubbered. And then the tears began to flow.
I still don’t know how I managed to drive the 20 miles home through the tears.
Everyone rallied around and I soon had a living-room full of cards, which helped immensely, and my window-ledge looked like a florist’s. I tried to carry on as normal, coming into work and dealing with calls and issues as best as I could.
But I could not stop thinking about December 4, my operation day, where I would be put to sleep again and undergo a cone biopsy, when even more of my cervix would be taken away. On the morning of the operation I sat with the surgeon and he tried to explain what would happen.
I soon asked the question which had been weighing heavy on my mind – what would happen if the cancer had spread? It would mean a hysterectomy, he said.
At 26, when plans for a family start to enter your mind, this was crushing and not an answer I had prepared for.
I knew he would be checking my other organs that day in case it had spread. I seemed to take that fact in my stride, but a hysterectomy was something else.
An anxious few weeks followed and three days before Christmas I was given the news we all had been waiting for – they had caught it all.
It was the best Christmas present ever!
My ordeal was over. I would now be under the hospital for the next 10 years with check-ups every six months for five years, and then every year.
As a woman I had always just assumed I would have children – it was my given right, wasn’t it?
But now I knew this wasn’t the case and it was something I couldn’t take for granted.
We decided we wanted to start a family. Before we knew it, it was June 2011 and we returned home from a wonderful holiday in Mexico.
I didn’t feel myself for a few days, but I put it down to jet lag.
But Adam and I soon found ourselves buying a pregnancy test – and to our delight we found I was expecting.
The feeling of finding out you will be a parent is incredible, but after being told it may never be a possibility we couldn’t stop smiling.
I contacted my local nurse and cried as I told her my news, but I was also concerned to hear if I would be OK. It was only six months since I was being treated for cancer.
I was told nothing could develop within nine months and my tests would be carried out as normal once the baby was here.
We told our parents and our siblings, but decided to keep our news under wraps until I was three months into my pregnancy. On my 20-week scan I broke the news and my friends cried with delight, with one calling it a “miracle baby”.
Over the months that followed I returned to the hospital as they checked everything was OK with my cervix.
Luckily, at five months I would no longer need to be seen at the hospital and instead everything would now go through my midwife. I was very relieved.
A week later I was approached by a baby magazine, which asked me to share my story as well as make a trip to London for a photo-shoot. It was all very exciting and the story will be published in the new year.
I am now just over seven months pregnant and we are expecting our special addition on February 28.
Whether I will be buying pink or blue has been kept as a nice surprise.